I Obstruct

Obstruction Permit

I think I finally found the perfect gift for those with finicky tastes.  In a fractured society filled with such varying needs, who wouldn’t want an obstruction permit?

For example, when you are shopping at the grocery store on a busy Saturday pushing a cart the size of a river barge, this obstruction permit will come in handy when you decide to camp in front of the soup section for twenty minutes.   Just snap the permit to the cart and let traffic back up all the way to the cereal aisle.

Live in a large family with only one bathroom and only get ten minutes in the morning?  Not anymore.  Just tape this permit to the door and let the rest of the family use the restroom at the corner gas station.

Want to take full advantage of all-you-can-eat lobster at your favorite buffet?  Now you can.  Just turn this permit into a T-shirt and stand right in front of the lobster tray.  If anybody gives you a hassle, just point to the bolded black lettering.  No other words are needed.

Are you a United States Senator looking to block significant piece of legislation but have no idea how Senate protocol works?  Do not read one word.  Just slap this permit on the bill when it comes into your subcommittee and it will never see the light of day.

And finally, are you like me, a person who likes to go downtown and enjoy a twelve dollar beer, but there is one problem: you don’t want to spend twenty dollars for parking.  Do not plug one parking meter.  Just pull your car right onto the sidewalk, throw this permit on the dashboard and walk right into your favorite establishment.  Pedestrians will gripe, but the police officer walking the beat will take one look at this green piece of paper and tell them to move along.

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