One thought ahead. Three sentences behind.

I NOW PRONOUNCE YOU MUPPETS

There is currently an online petition at change.org requesting Ernie and Bert put on tuxes and finally get married.  Lair Scott who began the petition states on the website, “Children and parents need to learn that acceptance of humankind, even puppets, would indeed plant a seed of peace that will reverberate throughout the universe.”

She further goes onto say, “Sesame Street claims Bert and Ernie are only friends, though that’s how marriage begins, right?”

No, most marriages don’t start out as friends.  Some can be prearranged while other vows are exchanged with the help of a shotgun. Also, in my hometown, there are more people who are single than married, but that is beside the point.  The last time I checked Sesame Street’s main viewing audience is under five.  These kids are still working on spelling and counting on their fingers.  What do they care about political agendas?

Why is Scott only picking on the guys in striped shirts? Is any muppet on Sesame Street married?  Is that why Guy Smiley is happy all the time, because he’s still single?  If Scott believes Ernie and Berg are gay, can I believe Oscar the Grouch is homeless?  After all, who would willingly live in a garbage can?  And what about Big Bird?  Can I infer drug addict because the giant yellow canary lives in an alley and has an imaginary friend?  Is Grover delusional for dressing up as a super hero?  And has Prairie Dawn ever had a reliable boyfriend?  If you are going to bring the adult world into a child’s playground, where does it end?

The question isn’t whether Ernie and Bert are gay, but why Scott thinks they need to be?  From what I remember Ernie liked to sing in the bathtub and Bert enjoyed dancing with pigeons.  I don’t remember a skit where they go to their favorite bar to meet up with Eton and Ramon.   The only reason they were created is because Jim Henson was asked to help kids learn the difference between near and far.  And they are still doing it today forty years later.  That’s what makes them so cool even if they sleep in single beds.

 

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