One thought ahead. Three sentences behind.

BIEBER BASH

Teenage heartthrob and naturalized Canadian Justin Bieber was recently involved in a minor accident with a Honda Civic. Although car accidents are routine in Los Angeles and no one was hurt, I was shocked to hear Bieber was behind the wheel of a Ferrari.

What is Bieber doing behind the wheel of an Italian sports car?  And it wasn’t on the salt flats of Nevada. Whoever let Bieber drive on a crowded urban street wasn’t thinking.   Just look at the photo.   Bieber looks like a five-year old who jumps in the front seat when his parents rush in to pick up dry cleaning.  The Ferrari was guaranteed to crash.  Teenagers are built to crash cars.  It is so inevitable I think teenagers should get the accident out of the way by buying a $500.00 car and rear-ending a cement truck.  And since Bieber is Bieber, he can buy a brand new Toyota Camry and blame the accident on unintended acceleration.

I think if the person who let Bieber drive his $100K+ vehicle, should have given the idea more thought.  For example, do they have knock-off vehicles for a moment like this?  Like the Rolex you buy from a guy by the Statue of Liberty for $40.00, do foreign imports have less expensive imitations?  If so, that’s the car a teenage millionaire should be driving, the kind of car that’s slightly off-color with cheap domestic tires and an emblem that actually reads Fezzari.

I think Bieber should pace himself when it comes to sampling the finer things in life.  If he’s already trying Ferraris, what will he be driving in the future?  When he turns 21 will he have to purchase a Bugatti Veyron for a million?  When he reaches a midlife crisis will he look at used fighter jets?  Then where do you go?  Will he have enough money at 65 to bring a retired space shuttle out of mothballs and take it for a spin?  Actually, that would be really cool.   Justin, start saving up!

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