I really enjoy walking around my neighborhood. And what I have found in my jaunts is I am in the minority when it comes to walkers, meaning I don’t have a dog. Most people don’t walk to walk. They are also doing something else, like discussing home remodeling projects with a friend or ordering a pizza over the phone. Most walk with a four-legged friend. And when they see me without a leash, they always give a look that says “What’s he up to?”
Obviously, I’m up to no good if I’m not walking a dog. Obviously, I am seconds from committing a felony since I don’t have a Huskie holding me back.
I can understand the sentiment. To a dog walker I’m not fully committed to the neighborhood. To them I am a stranger walking around aimlessly. Take the other day. I was ambling down the sidewalk when a lady and her terrier rounded the corner.
When she saw me, she jerked the dog’s chain and quickly headed in the other direction.
The move upset me. I wanted to shout “What? What did I do?” Instead, I looked behind me for coming down the street was a street cleaning machine shooting a tidal wave of water onto the sidewalk.
Maybe I should get a dog. The main problem is I don’t want one. Don’t get me wrong. I like dogs. I just don’t like the day-to-day responsibility. Maybe my best option is to rent one. I wonder if there is a service that will drop off a canine right when I’m ready to take a walk. And if this service is available, would I be able to pick from an exhaustive list to compliment my mood and the type of walk I want to take?
- Pug: If I’m only walking to the corner store.
- Puppy: If I’m looking to meet women.
- Basset hound: If I want to sit on a park bench.
- Bull dog: If I want something that drools more than I do.
- German shepherd: If I’m feeling European.
- Poodle: If I want best in show.
- Sheep dog: If I want to corral any neighborhood kids.
- Black lab: If I want to spend the whole day chasing after a runaway pet
- Irish wolfhound: If I get tired and need a lift back home.
- Greyhound: If I want a pet to run around the lake for me.
- Rottweiler: If I run into another Rottweiler.
- Chihuahua: If I decide to go to a movie and need to stick a pet in my coat pocket.
On second thought, it may not be the best idea to keep switching dogs like golf clubs. My neighbors already think I’m up to no good. If they see me with a new pet every day, they may think I’m running an illegal kennel. I need to think this through…
I need to go for a walk.