One thought ahead. Two sentences behind.

AAW: Acronyms Another Way

MADD: Mother’s Advise Dare Devils

Unlike Mothers Against Drunk Driving, this group has a certain amount of resignation that boys will be boys.  So instead of trying to outlaw cliff diving and motor cross jumps, this MADD group spends their time and research dollars by sponsoring clinics at martial arts studios and skateboard parks and teach teenage boys the best way not to kill themselves while doing a triple-salami sandstorm or a scorpion death tongue.


ACLU:  All Claires Love Ukuleles

Unlike the formidable American Civil Liberties Union, this rather small group of woman named Claire has a quirky passion to get together and play ukuleles.  The rules are that simple but strictly enforced.  The next meeting is October 24thin Davenport, Iowa at Claire Jackson’s house.  Please bring a casserole along with your ukulele and two forms of ID.


NYPD:  New Yorkers Play Doctor

Like their fraternal brothers in law enforcement, this group of New Yorker’s is solving a societal problem the only way a Brooklynite can: by tackling the problem head on through shortcuts.  So, instead of MCAT’s, med school and residencies, this ever-evolving group is seeing patients at the fraction of the cost by staying connected through medical apps, specialized chat rooms and whatever “Ask a Nurse” is available through a random list of toll-free numbers.  Need a splenectomy?  Just let them download the procedure!


 NATO:  The North Adriatic Treachery Opera

Not to be confused with the alliance that has kept Europe peaceful for over 70 years, this Albanian musical group believes every opera should reflect life with a heavy amount of backstabbing and bloodletting.  If you attend, it is advised not to sit in the first three rows.


 AARP:  Angry Americans Remove Problems.

Unlike the powerful organization that caters to the growing needs of an aging population, this group doesn’t rely much on lobbying and letter writing.  Instead, they take matters into their own hands.  Just don’t ask them how.  There will be no minutes on how they solved Clarence Dawkins insistence on mowing his lawn at 7 am every Saturday.

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