One thought ahead. Three sentences behind.

Seven Deadly Phrases – Accounting

 

  1. The reason you hired our firm is for our ability to add audacious to the word auditing.
  2. In reality your company is insolvent, but on paper I see you earning a $300,000.00 bonus.
  3. Yes, the Honolulu Office is not performing as well as London, but I don’t see why we can use the time zones to make up the difference.
  4. If moving future expenditures from Column A to Column B doesn’t work, we can always use Column Z as in keep it Zipped.
  5. We can offer you a 25% discount if you are willing to spread those savings over 34 months.
  6. If you will now turn to Page 28 Exhibit D Graph II, you will notice projected earnings for your Pharmaceutical Branch will be up 7% unless you need it higher.
  7. If you want a successfully run company always remember to:

Deduct, Invest, Save, Manage, Audit and Lobby

Just don’t use the acronym on any company literature.

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